Poker Face
by jai'dyn jai
Summary: The crew sits down to play a game of poker, yet one detective is immersed in past memories. EO and CJ pairing. Not so short one shot. If you want more, say it in your review.


**Poker Face**

**PG**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Lucky bastard Dick Wolf does. Good for him. I hope he is rotting in his mansion somewhere... lol  
**

**AN: PG for probable language. Just a little something I thought about when I was playing poker last night.**

**AN 2: so…I couldn't even tell you when I originally started this story, but I just finished it this afternoon, and decided to post it. This isn't my first, but it's my first in years, so be gentle with the reviews will ya? This is just a one shot, EO pairing, allusions to a CJ pairing. Please review. I haven't written in a long time, and need to get back into it. Reviews make the muse happy.**

Three bottles of champagne ago, the group had been completely sober, and completely depressed. It seemed as though life would never improve for the detectives of Manhattan's Special Victims Unit. Not all were good endings. For every good ending there were ten more. Though it was rare that those ten followed so closely on the heels of one another.

So they had needed a drink. A few drinks. They had crowded into Olivia Benson's tiny apartment. Three hours ago, three bottles of wine and a twelve pack ago, three hands of Texas Hold'em ago. Casey, Elliot, Fin, Munch, and Liv sat at the table, and the longer they sat, and the more inebriated they got, the more they believed that it didn't matter. It had taken them two of the three hours to get out of their slump, and thirty minutes for the partially drunk Olivia Benson to find a full deck of cards in her kitchen drawers.

They crowded around her coffee table, John and Casey sitting on the floor, very close together, and too drunk to care. Fin sat on the couch, and Elliot sat in the easy chair at one end of the table, straight across from Olivia. They were using a poker set that Olivia had kept from her ever so long ago college days, and after three hands, there wasn't that much of a lead for anyone to begin bragging about. Yet. Not that that discouraged the ribbing that always existed from the family of the one six precinct.

"You ladies don't have a chance." Fin said, a small smile erupting on his usually solemn face.

"They say that luck leans towards the -hic- beginners." Casey looked up at Munch, who was trying patiently to teach Casey not to bid on every three and seven off suit that came into her hands.

"Yeah well, Lady Luck also believes in sense, Case. You can't bid on every bloody hand you get." Munch replied, before watching carefully as Elliot shuffled the cards then passed them to his right for Olivia to cut.

The doe-eyed detective cut the cards evenly before looking up at her partner, "Deal me something good, Detective." She said, her voice an octave lower than normal due to exhaustion and alcohol level.

Elliot said nothing, simply nodded as he dealt the cards. After all, he knew what he was up against. Three detectives who were experts at getting the truth from liars, not to mention a lawyer who, regretfully, knew exactly what the hell she was doing as far as calling bluffs. He refused to allow his concentration to falter even for a second. Despite the warmth he could feel from Olivia's eyes every time she looked towards him. And the fact that her entire apartment had the smell that made him weak in the knees every time he came near her.

He dealt the cards slowly, Fin closest to him on his left, Casey then Munch, then Olivia, then himself. Two cards then the rest of the deck went to the table as they looked at their hands. Elliot took a split second to look at his own cards before glancing up at his opponents. Fin made a face before knocking the table for a check. Casey was an interesting case once inebriated. Giggly was close, but even then not the right word. Uninhibited was closer. She looked at Munch, holding her cards to him. Much the way a toddler would show her mother a painting, looking for approval. Munch rolled his eyes, and immediately threw his hand down. He wrapped an arm around the blonde holding her hand with his own, and focusing on her cards, "Case bids five." He said for her, throwing out a red chip.

Elliot looked at Olivia closely watching as her hand went to push her short hair out of her face. It refused to stay behind her ear though, and it almost bugged Elliot as much as it did her. Not only was he not able to tell whether she was lying or not, but he simply couldn't look at her face.

"I call," Her voice came from a curtain of short brown hair, along with another red chip. Elliot watched the chip she threw in spin before coming to a rest in front of him. He shook himself out of his day dream, glancing again at his cards.

Again he said nothing, simply added his red to the pile. Fin sighed, putting his cards into the pot and standing, "Anyone else want anything to drink?" he asked gesturing towards the kitchen. Casey giggled and raised her hand with her champagne glass in it. Olivia also held her wine glass out to him. Elliot shook his head no. He still had a full beer beside him. Munch also shook his head. Fin disappeared into the kitchen with the ladies' glasses, and Casey sat up, nearly taking Munch's head out with her own, "Burn and Turn, Elliot." She said, looking back towards Munch for approval for her poker jargon.

Olivia simply smiled as she shook her head, while Elliot burned a card, then dealt the flop. A king of Hearts, ten of spades, and Ace of clubs winked at the four remaining at the table. And Elliot once again looked at his opponents, sizing them up. Munch whispered something in Casey's ear, and the blonde lightly tapped a manicured fingernail on the table twice. Olivia frowned for a moment, and Elliot found himself observing her more closely than the rest.

_I…cant, El. I can't do this anymore. I can't be the person you want me to be. I can't be Kathy, Elliot._

"I bid ten." Olivia said, throwing a green chip in amongst the red. Elliot brought himself from more painful memories before looking at his cards again, "Call." The first word he had said in at least an hour. He looked back down at the couple on the floor, Munch whispering something in Casey's ear, and Case breaking out into a new fit of giggles as a result. A small smill played around his lips, but it didn't reach his eyes. Casey finished her giggling fit, then threw out a green chip of her own, "Me too. Us. Us too." She smiled broadly at Munch. Elliot turned his attention back to Olivia.

_I don't want you to be Kathy, Liv. I love you because you aren't Kathy. Your…My god, Olivia, your beautiful! Don't you get that? Don't you understand? I love YOU! I left my wife for you!_

He burned a card, then dealt the river. A two of clubs shone at the remaining players while Fin came back into the room, with the ladies' glasses and a beer of his own. He placed their glasses on the table in front of them, then sat back on the couch, watching the game silently. Elliot watched as his partner tapped a fingernail on the table a few times, thinking. It was one of her habits that both annoyed him to know end, and yet every time she did it he couldn't help but smile. Except of course now, because of the memories that were replaying themselves in his mind. "Check." Her voice cut though his thoughts, and he watched as Munch once again whispered his suggestion to Casey.

"Us too." The redhead murmured.

Elliot nodded, tapping a finger of his own on the table for a check, before burning and turned the last card. A ten of diamonds.

_And that is why I can't do this anymore, Elliot. I don't want to be the reason you left Kathy. Your kids. I don't want to have that hate placed on me. I don't want to be the 'other woman' that your entire family hates because I'm the reason you left them. I love you Elliot, but I love your kids too. They don't deserve that._

Olivia sighed, tapping the table as a sign of 'check' before taking a sip of her wine. Casey threw in a green chip without Munch's prompting, leading Elliot to believe that either she was getting better at the game, or sloppy because of her alcohol intake. Either way, Elliot called then raised another ten. Olivia sighed, "Too rich for my blood, guys." She muttered before putting her cards down in the middle of the table.

_You already are, Liv. I filed the papers yesterday. It's not just you, we weren't going to stay together anyway. I just beat Kath to it. Livia. Please. Please. Let me love you like you deserve to be loved. _

"Elliot?" Olivia's voice brought him out of his memories to the game at hand. Casey had put in another green chip, and Elliot nodded, putting in his chip, "What do you have?" he asked her, and watched as she put down a Queen and Jack of hearts. "Dammnit." He said out loud, putting down his 8 of hearts and ten of hearts.

He handed the cards over to Fin, watching as the man dealt the cards. The sound of Fin shuffling faded into the background as he tore is attention back to Olivia.

_Elliot…Please. I don't want to hurt you, but…I don't want this. I can't want this. He watched in the darkness of the bullpen as she grabbed her jacket and left silently._

Two nights ago, he thought he would finally get everything he wanted. He thought that he'd for once in a long time he'd get what he wanted. And in one fell swoop, it was taken from him, because Olivia was too afraid of being hated. He was almost angry, but as he looked at her, her chestnut brown hair, and deeply emotional brown eyes, he couldn't. He couldn't be angry with her, because he knew how sensitive she really was. But he sure as hell couldn't sit around and do nothing. Not while his life was singlehandedly falling apart.

"Don't deal me in. I think it's time for me to go." Elliot stood suddenly, his thoughts causing him to feel the need to leave. Right. Now. Before anyone could say anything to him, he took his jacket off the back of the couch, and swung it around, shoving his arms in angrily before stalking towards her front door. He was aware of a presence behind him, but he ignored it. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want anything right now. Nothing except what he had already been told he couldn't have.

He was down to the first floor when finally a voice broke through his swirling cloud of emotions and feelings. "Stabler!" He stopped short. Not turning.

"What?" his voice was low. And he hated the fact that it was filled with pain. Just hearing her voice behind him was enough to make his knees weak.

"Turn around." He refused, shaking his head slowly back and forth. "God damnit Elliot be a man and turn around!" Her voice rose an octave, and he hung his head, turning slowly as he kept his eyes on the floor, admiring the checkerboard tile that was in her lobby. "Look at me." Not wanting anymore attention brought to them, he obliged. He watched as she slowly walked towards him, until she was standing right there, close enough for him to smell the coconut shampoo she used. "Elliot…" She sighed, "I can't help loving you. I always have, and I probably always will. But I swear on my life, that if you ever hurt me, I will blow your kneecaps to pieces. Do you understand me?"

He nodded once, slowly, then as what she said and what it meant broke through his self pitying fog, again, a bit more animatedly. "Now come back upstairs. Ok?" She held her hand out, and he took it, smiling for the first time in what felt like years as their hands closed around each others. It was the beginning.


End file.
